is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
