I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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