They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
