You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
