i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
