He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I need to sanitize my soul.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
