2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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