Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
