So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Randomize
