she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
