You're so nebulous sometimes
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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