3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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