3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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