My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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