k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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