What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
