Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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