i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize