I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just cut my nipple shaving
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
