Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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