the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
