I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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