Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
