'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Another day, another engagement, another cat
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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