I like to think it a success when the cops are called
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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