I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
