You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He? As in you personified your dick?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
