Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
