In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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