do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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