My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
