Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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