Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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