I wanna passion pit in your ass
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
