I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize