do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
