I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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