I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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