So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
