We need to rekindle our bromance
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize