lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
