Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
