i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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