I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
This baby is an asshole
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
