I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Panties = found
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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