Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
