you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
