Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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