This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
