Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
