I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I touched a dick in church today
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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