I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
A bitchslap is in order.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
