I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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