I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
