I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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