32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you made out with another girl for some wings
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
