i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
