We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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