mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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