"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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