I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
