"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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