i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
