Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
