too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
